My favorite beverage at my favorite bar, Thirsty’s.

I knew Arthur Guinness was B-R-I-L-L-I-A-N-T! But, I had no idea just how BRILLIANT! He invented time travel! No really!

The above picture is of the time travel potion, also know as Guinness. This beauty was poured by one of my favorite bar tenders and a favorite person, B.C. at Thirsty’s. I swallowed this concoction and about 4 others and the next thing I knew I was waking up in my bed at and it was 6:30PM! This picture was taken at 1:33PM, I leaped through time! Granted it was only about 5 hours, but can you do that? Not with out the help of Arthur Guinness and his dark magic potion! Hell, I am thinking about drinking a bunch and leaping forward to Christmas Day just to see what I am going to get. That way I will know how to act when opening specific gifts, reaction is everything on Christmas Day.

One gift you may consider is an 18 pack of Guinness . Yes it’s delicious and now you know it is magical. Imagine the power of time travel! Oh, side effects include loss of memory, nausea, pissed of spouse, upset stomach, diarrhea , crying children, vomiting and excessive sleepiness. Arthur Guinness was B-R-I-L-L-I-A-N-T!

It’s the most wonderful time of the year. Last week our oldest son Jackson was hospitalized for long term EEG monitoring of his brain and three days later the worst was ruled out. It’s the most wonderful time of the year.

Today was our younger son Jordan’s turn. Jordan has severe food allergies. Severe is a strong word, but appropriate. Jordan is allergic to milk, soy, soy lethicin and a lot of other crap that goes into creating our food. Read the labels on foods and you’ll see what a challenge it is to feed Jordan, but we (really his mother) have and well. His mother, Jennae, even makes him special desserts, so the guy never feels left out at parties or celebrations.

Lately he has been complaining that his stomach hurts after eating, despite taking a host of medicine to help control his severe acid reflux. Back to the specialist, then back to the hospital for an endoscopy. Jordan’s third of his life. How many parents have pictures of the inside of their kid’s esophagus and stomach? We have a photo albums worth. As expected Jordan’s is abnormal.

The new photos show that Jordan’s esophagus tissue is thickening because of the reflux, there are also abscesses, and where most people’s esophagus is smooth, his has little bumps. The doctor took seven biopsies and doesn’t want to say much about what she saw until the results of the biopsies are back. Some presents you can not wait to tear into, others you hesitate. It is the most wonderful time of the year, right?

It is the most wonderful time of the year! It’s busy and rushed, a great distraction. I study, or attempt to study, Buddhist philosophy and find the teachings to be of great help to keep “present,” not easy to do when the “what ifs” and the “what the fucks” sneak in. However, when my attempt to stay “present” fails, I tear into my other favorite presents, Guinness and Jameson. (Pardon me while I take a CHUG!) Then I come back to the moment.

In the moment I remember, we’re all here and these are some good times. Jordan was cracking jokes with the anesthesiologist, even blew the doc’s weak joke which was, “What do you call a pig that knows karate?” Jordan blurted out “A pork chop!” Plus, there is snow to ski, sled and pummel each other. My buddy Tommy always makes me laugh, especially when he awkwardly calls to see how we’re doing. Jennae, who is 7 months pregnant , makes the holidays great no matter what is going on around us and she has the perfect egg-nog to brandy ratio! Yeah, it IS the most wonderful time of the year!

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It is no secret I am Guinness guy. However, I also love Indian Pale Ales and in my college days preferred Genny “Pounders,” pint size bottles of Genny and Genny Light. Looks like the Pounder has been replaced by “BIG ASS GENNY BEER.”

As you are shopping for the “hard to get for man” on your list, (there is no such thing!); think local and buy him a case of Genny!

Big Ass Genny

If you have kids, you know how stressful things can get and it is not always due to their behavior. Sometimes it’s their health!

Our oldest son Jackson has been having a series of odd “spells.” That sounds like what your relatives say when 90 year-old Great Aunt Millie does a swan dive into her buternut squash soup at Christmas dinner, “Pick Aunt Millie out of her soup and BE CAREFUL OF HER WIG, she’s had one of her spells again!”

Jackson has been falling a sleep, mid-sentence and can not be woken up and it’s not for lack of trying. The kid is out! Cold! He is a typically active nine year-old boy who sleeps for an average of nine to nine and a half hours a day, so what the…that’s what the doctors want to find out!

Last night we kept him up all night, he went strong ’till 4 AM, then I got him up made him touch his toes a few times and walk around, but had to let him sleep a little at 5. The idea was not to torture him, but he had to sleep during his EEG test this morning. Try being nine, having all this hooked to your head and being told, “Go to sleep!” He did and we’ll get the results later in the week.

Strange and disconcerting colors continue to appear on our community water spigot.